They said whaaaatt?

These days, it’s hard to know when something’s meant to be constructive feedback or when it’s hate even at work. 

Here are 5 tips you can use to determine what’s truly constructive (helpful) feedback and what’s hate (hurtful) feedback.

1) The person know you personally and has built up trust with you by truly showing care and concern for you as a person.  A person who is hating doesn’t know you on a personal level and has never shown care or concern for you as a person.  They wouldn’t know your spouse or kids name if someone asked them.

2) The person has also offered appropriate praise towards you (publicly and privately) and they don’t just only criticize you.  The person who is hating only criticizes you at every turn. 

3) The majority of people commented positively about you, the situation, your work or performance and they gave specific examples of what they liked and suggestions on how to make it even better.  The person hating or envious only commented negatively with things they didn’t like with no proposal or solutions on how you can truly improve it because they’re not really looking for you to improve. 

4) You can feel the difference in your emotions, mind body and spirit (it hits you in way that makes you question and doubt yourself vs saying hey this is great feedback and something that I should include or do next time). 

5) It makes you want to quit vs keep going…when someone who is hating gives feedback, it makes you want to give up and quit versus when someone who is offering genuinely constructive feedback with your best interest in mind makes you want to keep going because you feel they believe in you and your potential to get better. 

So, how is this a career disruption?

Hate – whether intentional or unintentional – can stop you in your tracks if you don’t recognize it for what it really is.  It’s not meant to help you, it’s meant to hurt you.  It’s not meant to support your progress, it’s meant to stall your progress.

If you stop trying, the hate will go away.  So, as I always say – People don’t hate what they don’t notice.  So, if you’re receiving, that means you’re doing something right and something that challenges you and others. 

So, keep going and if constructive feedback is on the menu, take it in. Leave anything else on the table.  You don’t always have to eat what is served.  In this case, you don’t have to partake in hate. 

Just keep moving forward because you got this.  And those who truly care about you would never want to see you fail.  You got this.  

Comment below and tell me your favorite tip from this article or your own personal experiences.

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